Angelversaries
I don't like calling death anniversaries "angelversaries", but lots of people do. Whatever you call it, this Sunday will be 7 years for us. It's unfathomable really. 7 years. And just last week I was thinking I needed to tell him something. Yes. Crazy, I know. It only happens when I am super tired and get lost in my head. It's like I forget somewhere on some level inside my brain. It's not uncommon. A friend's mom has been widowed since I was in college, and she says it still happens to her. Grief is different for everyone and from what I can tell it is different every year. Despite my best efforts, I have not mastered it by any measure. One of the hardest things for me is not knowing what my kids need. I want to be there if they need me. I don't want to smother them if they don't. I don't want to make them think they should feel any kind of way. It's a fine line. I just wish it could go...