Pink Giraffe Musing

Everything I ever needed to know, I learned at Boot Camp.......... When I was 38 and then again when I was 39, I had a plan.  Sort of a plan.  A plan that resided inside my head and was known only to me.  A plan to get fit by the time I was 40.  A plan that I acted out in no way, and told no one about.  Thirty-eight came and went, and so did thirty-nine and then I found myself kind of fat and 40.  Not only fat and 40; fat, forty and gaining.  I had been holding steady at my post baby weight for quite some time, until the winter months of 2010-2011, when the scale began creeping frighteningly upward.  Now, fat is a relative term, and subject of much debate in our culture, so I am going to say fat for me.  My whole life I was "skinny".  It was part of my identity. That skinny girl with the blond hair…..that was me.  I used to hate being called skinny, until I saw myself as fat.  That seemed much worse.  Clothes didn'...

In February 2011, I started an incredible journey of health, fitness, strength, and smaller clothes sizes.  I know I said, and I'm pretty sure I wrote, that if I could get back to the way I looked at 18 that I'd never let it go.  I lied.  I got there.  I shocked myself, to be sure.  Actually, I think there was a window of time where I was more fit than I had ever been in my entire life.  I mean, I had muscles, real muscles.  Little ones, but you could see them.   In no time, I let it slip away.  Not entirely.  But, enough.  My pre-February 2011 pants would still fall of me, but at the start of this summer I was down to only one regular push up, and I hardly ever run anymore.  The physical strength I had worked so hard to gain was dwindling. In February of 2012, I was in the best physical condition of my adult life, which is a nice place to be at 41.  My kids were doing well, my husband had a job he loved, and was g...

I cannot help but look back at 2011 in sheer amazement. I almost wrote....at what happened to me. But it didn't happen to me. I did it.  And that still shocks me sometimes. For those of you who haven't been a part of the journey with me... on February 17, 2011 I joined a boot camp.  I lost inches, and pounds, got stronger (mentally and physically),  and found the part of me that was really me, that I had given so fully to my roles of wife and mother, that I got lost along the way.  I feel more like me than I have in probably a decade, and I stand in awe of it all sometimes. In October of 2011 I made my goal weight, and ran my first 5K. My neighbor said this to me (and I paraphrase).........there is no magic potion or pill or fix. When you couldn't run down this street, you walked, and when you could run a little, you did, and when you could run a little more, you did, until you could run the whole thing. And, I was like, wow, you're righ...

Today, I am at my "goal weight". It has really only been my goal weigh recently, because up until the last few weeks, I have just been enjoying the ride and not really making any plans about "weight". But as of today, I have lost 32 inches and 30ish pounds. THIRTY TWO INCHES. My mind is blown by it all. Really. I guess maybe it is surreal. When I look at my clothes, the ones I own that fit, I think, that cannot fit me...but it does. That part will probably take some time. I am proud of myself. But, in a way, I am more surprised. Amazed that I did it. When I started this, I don't think I had a true goal in mind....I don't think I wanted to hope for too much to be honest. And really, I didn't think I was "fat" (but I probably was), just out of shape and a little "thicker" than I liked. I really didn't know what I was capable of, but I know I didn't think I was capable of much (in terms of working out). And so, as I often do, I u...

Well, I couldn't quit. I just couldn't. I wasn't ready to be done, and I really can't figure out what I will do next in terms of fitness, and I don't want to do nothing with as hard as I have worked to get where I am now. I have some Kathy Smith videos, really VHS tapes, and a working VCR, but I don't think that is going to work for me. Like I said before, I am not coordinated, and aerobics videos are just not my thing (not to mention that my kids watch me and mock me). Some 1985 video is just not a sustainable workout program for me at this point. I wish I was a runner, but I am not a runner. First of all, it is hot here. And second of all, I don't like to run, at all....not for long distances. I wish I did....it is cheap and accessible, but I am not self-motivated enough to be a runner. This I know. Starting out, my goal was simple. Get stronger. Be able to do push-ups. And May seemed far away, and all of a sudden it is May. A fellow bootcamper told me ab...

The last day of the Boot Camp Weight loss challenge was today. I have to admit to happiness with my accomplishments (14.5 inches lost and 10 lbs lost), but a great deal of sadness, because despite hating to work out, I really like boot camp. If that makes any sense. I mean, if it were up to me, I would never work out, really. It doesn't make me feel so great that I can't live without it, and if there was a way to get around it, I would. But I can't, so I won't, I hope. And, like I have said before, I love chili cheese nachos, beer, and I really, really, really love pizza, like I could eat it every single day kind of love. I really could. YUM. I don't like vegetables, except celery. Not really. I eat them. I make myself. And, I tell my kids, I don't like this but I know it is good for me, and so I eat it. I hope that will make some impression on them that food is not just about taste, but about fuel, and about health. But, me a vegetarian, never. But back to boot...

Motherhood. It is truly a gift. An exhausting, tiring, thankless gift. A gift that brightens my everyday. A gift that for many years I thought I wasn't interested in. And, one I am thankful that in the end that I was. One that I can call the best decision of my life. I love my kids. I hate to be away from them, even when they make me crazy. I have only spent a handful of nights away from them in their lives and I like it that way. I miss them while they are at school, or sleeping over at friend's house. My house doesn't seem right until they are here. My heart is glad when I see them in the school carpool line every day. They may come home and fight, but I am still thankful for every minute that I get to spend with them. Crazy, isn't it. Yet, I think I am not alone in these feelings. My love for them far outweighs and exceeds and sassy, crazy, crabby, mean spirited things they do. That is not to say they are bad kids, they aren't. While they can be all those things;...