Pink Giraffe Musing

Twenty years ago today I got married. I only got to have 13 anniversaries.  As a widow, anniversaries 14-19 were fine.  I went to dinner with friends, or did nothing at all and it seemed okay.  Just a day.  Yet, this year the date was looming large and occupying too many of my thoughts.  I was filled with dread.  It was a milestone, and maybe causing me to think about my age and the passage of time.  I have been feeling "some kind of way".  Really, just a lot of different ways. 20 years?  How has it been 20 years?  How is this my 7th solo anniversary?  How am I not still in my 20's (very self absorbed, but I challenge anyone "my age" to not give this one an amen). Wrinkles?  Reading glasses?  Is this for real? I've been reflecting on the many people that were at our wedding that are not here anymore.  They include: my husband, my father, grandfather, grandmother, friend's parents, my parent's friends, and th...

I wrote this one last summer.......never finished it.....til today. Sometimes I start writing posts, and come back to them months later.  Today, I clicked on this one....titled Brave only to discover I hadn't written anything.  Funny.  I wonder what my motivation was on that day.  I know what it is today. People often tell me I am strong.  Mostly, I think they are wrong.  I can see how I might I look that way to some of you.  Make no mistake, I am not.  I am not any stronger than you.  I don't think those of us who have faced loss are any stronger than the average person living the life of Riely. When hardship, loss, illness, or tragedy enter your life, you have two choices....to quit, or to keep going forward and write a new chapter that takes your story in a new direction.  Quitting is not an option.  At least not to me with two kids to raise.  And so you think I am strong. I look strong because I keep going fo...

Our world is full of motivational quotes, memes, and inspirational words that have conflicting messages.  Choose Joy, Bloom Where You are Planted, Beautiful things happen when you distance yourself from negativity, Be the Change ........... is it truly possible to bloom where you are planted, while being the change, and staying away from negativity?  Maybe.   I have always been a firm believer in Bloom Where You are Planted.  My lst job was in a middle school just a few blocks from inner city Cleveland.  I was 24, and had always been a suburbanite.  This job was a big step outside of my bubble.  I hung a Mary Englebreit poster in my classroom and held firm to the saying......"Bloom Where You Are Planted".  This quote makes me think of a weed growing and thriving in a crack in the sidewalk, and that may have been a little how I felt.  I took over the job mid semester.  I was replacing a really "cool" teacher (who smoked weed...

I love lacrosse.  I love watching my son play lacrosse. I mean what mom doesn't love to watch their kid sing, play tuba, or dribble a basketball with skill?  But for me with lacrosse it's much more than that.  I love lacrosse for what it is my son and his life; for him as a boy.  And,  I love what lacrosse is for us as a family.  I don't always (read never) love the early mornings, sitting in the rain, or sweating in the heat.  But, all in all, it's the kind of thing I know I will miss one day.  Enough so that sometimes I just sit back and take it all in, sort of like savoring it.  In some strange way, I do love it, each rainy, hot, steamy, tiring moment.  I am happy to be there and lucky that my son has taken me on this journey. Lacrosse is, of course, a sport just like all of the others he has played through the years.  It makes him think.  It gives him the chance to him push himself.  It forces him to make quick de...

Anticipation. It is often better than a surprise.  Anticipating something special makes the mundane more tolerable. It makes the heart feel full and happy.  Last week, all week long I was anticipating the weekend ahead.  I had the usual schedule of volleyball and lacrosse, but along with that was my son's first performance in a musical!!  The anticipation for that was immense!  It was ever present!  It was with me when I was driving, teaching, or falling asleep.  "Only two more days until the musical", I would tell myself while I ate lunch.  Then my body would fill up with a little burst of excitement.  By Friday afternoon, I texted my boyfriend, "I am so excited, I think I might burst!".  I didn't know what to expect.  I was nervous and excited. This week, I live through a different kind of anticipation altogether.   The anticipation of March 17th. Those of you who knew me then will remember hearing the news; at part...

"I don't know how you do it".  I keep getting this lately.  The truth of it is, neither do I.  I just do it because I have to, because it needs to be done, and there is no one else to do it.  I work full time at a school that is difficult.  I leave work feeling angry and frustrated far more often than anything else.  I work out a lot, because it does something good of my brain, and helps manage the feelings of grumpiness, and despair I feel at work.  I have also decided that it is good for my kids, because they are already getting a tired and less patient version of me than they deserve (and it sets a good example).  My kids are active (my friend says they are "joiners") and busy. While I am happy they are successful at the sports and activities they love, it is EXHAUSTING (and expensive).  Add to the list, that I run a home based business, which brings me GREAT JOY, and, I am dating. As a result of all these AWESOME and AMAZING things ...

In August of 2016, I hosted a Wildtree Freezer Meal Workshop because I wanted to have some easy meals prepped and ready to go before school started.  Almost immediately, I was impressed and a little bit amazed. Everything was easy (like no brainer easy) and so good.  It was an answer.  It filled a need.  It kept me out of the drive thru line.  The products were ORGANIC with NO PRESERVATIVES and no GMO.  This was how I liked to feed my family, but not how I was feeding them with the demands of work and life and sports.......I know you know what I mean. During 2011, I went on a transformative health and fitness journey.  From couch potato, to fit and active.  As a part of that transformation, I started to feed my family healthy, organic meals.  I was a stay at home mom, and I loved to cook, so it was my pleasure to whip up delicious, healthy food for my family.  I would spend Sunday afternoons looking up recipes, pinning things to tr...