Gratitude

"At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us." Albert Schweitzer

Thank you.  It is one of the first phrases I taught my children. It is commonly said many times a day: thank you to the lady who hands me my coffee in the drive thru, thank you to the boy who brings my groceries to my car, and thank you to my friend who took my kids to the pool. Sometimes, however, thank you seems inadequate. It seems too small, too common, and not filled with enough emotion, or appreciation. Or maybe that is just me being sappy.  But I really don't think so, because sometimes people do BIG things. And sometimes they do small things that are spectacular.

Recently, I've had some of these big and small things happen to me. Ordinary people have reached out and touched my life (and the lives of my children). The gratitude I feel is so enormous that it is a physical presence in chest, a weight, something I physically feel, sometimes for a long time...hours, or even a day. Other times it is like a wave washing over me resulting in a few tears that overflow. It is inspiring, humbling, overwhelming, and oftentimes hard to wrap my head around. "They want to do what.........for me?", is often how I feel. It has become apparent how very loved we are by so many, and how blessed.  How completely and utterly blessed.  But it never fails to take me by surprise and make me sort of shake my head in amazement.

We just returned from a trip to Florida. A trip that was given to us. A trip I would not have considered, had it not been offered to me. And I am so thankful that it was.  It was huge for us in a number of ways. The first trip without Michael. The first trip I was in charge of navigating (very scary....so thankful for GPS). The first time I had to do it all and be it all. And it was wonderful (despite the fact I could not nap on the beach). So many smiles. And, as we were walking to the beach on the last morning, my daughter looked up to me and said, "mom, this has been an AWESOME week, even though we didn't have daddy.".  I am thankful for that, beyond measure.  We are learning to be the new us.  The three of us.  And we are learning that we can be happy, and that is okay. 

How do you say thank you for that?  A thank-you note is just insufficient.