Perserverance
I remember once, a few years ago, I said to myself if I could have my 18-year-old body back, would take better care of it this time around. And, well, not so sure how it happened exactly...but I have (more or less) my 18-year-old self back, which is amazing to me on several points. First, I never ever ever thought I'd see the day, and secondly, because I guess it just makes me so proud of myself, for staying the course and carrying on. And, after a year of tremendous personal growth, exploring different fitness options for myself, growing stronger in every section of my life, and really feeling I was on top of my game, I was dealt a tragic blow. The kind of thing that makes it hard to breathe, or think, or do much of anything.
And yet, strangely, amazingly, and a total testament to how much I changed, one of the main places I wanted to go was to work out. I was so afraid of losing what I had achieved. But I also just wanted to be there in that place, with those people, doing something that was oddly comforting. It took me three full weeks before I made it there, and those first few workouts were mentally harder than the workouts when I was completely out of shape. So many times I wanted to quit or didn't push myself, but I was there and something is always better than nothing. But I am SO GLAD that I went back, and didn't give up. He wouldn't want that for me anyway. Although he always told me I was crazy (with all this fitness stuff), I know on some level he was proud of me.
Had the woman I was a year ago been dealt the same blow, I am not sure she would have persevered in the same way I have. That is not to say I have not had rainy days or traveled stormy seas (which both sounds so cliche until you live it and then it seems a perfect description). But, in the past 15 months, I did something that 15 months ago seemed impossible. And I now know, with certainty, that I can do ANYTHING. Nothing is impossible, too hard, and I know now too, that I can do this.
And yet, strangely, amazingly, and a total testament to how much I changed, one of the main places I wanted to go was to work out. I was so afraid of losing what I had achieved. But I also just wanted to be there in that place, with those people, doing something that was oddly comforting. It took me three full weeks before I made it there, and those first few workouts were mentally harder than the workouts when I was completely out of shape. So many times I wanted to quit or didn't push myself, but I was there and something is always better than nothing. But I am SO GLAD that I went back, and didn't give up. He wouldn't want that for me anyway. Although he always told me I was crazy (with all this fitness stuff), I know on some level he was proud of me.
Had the woman I was a year ago been dealt the same blow, I am not sure she would have persevered in the same way I have. That is not to say I have not had rainy days or traveled stormy seas (which both sounds so cliche until you live it and then it seems a perfect description). But, in the past 15 months, I did something that 15 months ago seemed impossible. And I now know, with certainty, that I can do ANYTHING. Nothing is impossible, too hard, and I know now too, that I can do this.
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