Pink Giraffe Musing

Today, I am at my "goal weight". It has really only been my goal weigh recently, because up until the last few weeks, I have just been enjoying the ride and not really making any plans about "weight". But as of today, I have lost 32 inches and 30ish pounds. THIRTY TWO INCHES. My mind is blown by it all. Really. I guess maybe it is surreal. When I look at my clothes, the ones I own that fit, I think, that cannot fit me...but it does. That part will probably take some time. I am proud of myself. But, in a way, I am more surprised. Amazed that I did it. When I started this, I don't think I had a true goal in mind....I don't think I wanted to hope for too much to be honest. And really, I didn't think I was "fat" (but I probably was), just out of shape and a little "thicker" than I liked. I really didn't know what I was capable of, but I know I didn't think I was capable of much (in terms of working out). And so, as I often do, I u

My daughter is calling herself STUPID with increasing frequency these days. It is worrisome, frustrating, and making me down right crazy. How does happen to a well liked, well loved, beautiful 9 year old child? Why is she SO hard on herself? Is it genetics?? Personality?? Am I a bad mother?? And most importantly, HOW do I make her stop? Every time she would say it, I started by saying...."you are not stupid". To which she would reply...."YES I AM" and then proceed with a laundry list of faults and failures; such as, not knowing where the measuring cup was supposed to go, or leaving a wet towel on the floor, or coming down with a case of strep. Then there are the homework battles. She has ADD, and so, even with her meds (or if her mom forgets to give her the meds), she zones out, forgets and then feels, well, stupid. I want her to understand it is okay to make mistakes, and to admit to them. So, the other day we were in Target, and we each picked out a bottle of flav

"In teaching you cannot see the fruit of a day's work. It is invisible and remains so, maybe for twenty years." ~Jacques Barzun I am currently teaching adults how to draw. I have been teaching this class for 11 years and my current class is one of the most enjoyable groups I have had the priviledge to work with, and I mean that sincerely. There are so many things that I LOVE about teaching adults. But, I have to admit what I like the best is that the like me, and get my jokes. They bring me treats, and best of all they tell me I am a good teacher. It is so nice to hear, because let's face it, teachers are often under appreciated. I have taught preschool, elementary school, middle school, high school, and adults; in museums, camps, art centers, schools, churches, and even my home. Mostly, though, I have taught middle school. And the person I was at the time, she loved it. They are the most quirky, funny, enjoyable people on earth (perhaps when you are not thei

I have always had theories about my children and how they play. I wanted them to be creative, and to imagine. To pretend. I wanted to raise them in a way that would give them the longest childhood possible because let's face it, childhood is short. That sounds simple enough, but it is harder than you think. From a young age, our kids are consumers, and everything caters to them, from toothpaste to band-aids and clothes. And it seems like everything is trying to make them grow up faster. Movies, music, tv shows. I really just wanted my kids to be kids, not consumers. And so, I sheltered them in many ways; we stayed home a lot, and we played and danced, painted, squished play-doh, made forts, and went for walks where we smelled the flowers. My friends will tell you, there we many days I was ready to bang my head against the wall, but these years that I have been at home when the kids were at home, have been a precious joy and I am thankful they have had to opportunities to play free

In May I wrote this...... "I wish I was a runner, but I am not a runner. First of all, it is hot here. And second of all, I don't like to run, at all....not for long distances. I wish I did....it is cheap and accessible, but I am not self motivated enough to be a runner. This I know." But, I guess that isn't true after all. Because, I have been running. Not a lot. Not fast. And, I am not great at it. But I am running. I may never run a marathon, and I am fairly certain that I don't aspire to, but I can run. Just a little. Enough. Sometimes, there is something childlike about running. Joyful even. When my bunions aren't killing me, anyway. If there is a breeze, and it isn't a zillion degrees, a good song is on, and I have just passed a patch of honeysuckle, I want to close my eyes and turn in circles and sing....I don't, but I feel like at some point while I am running most days. As a mother, what I think I like best about running is that for however lo

Mark Twain said, "You can live for two months on a good compliment". I think he is right. When someone says something to you that is positive, and meaningful, and touches your heart, no matter what else comes your way, that little speck of praise will carry you far, and may even add a little spring to your step. When I started this journey (boot camp), I said I wasn't doing it to lost weight. In fact, when I filled out my form for boot camp I said that I wanted to get stronger. And I did, and I have. So, I lost 20 lbs. along the way, and I will take that, gladly. In fact, I would like to lose 10 more, well really 12, if I am being honest. :) That being said I have not lost a pound since the end of June, and I am okay with that too. Despite weight loss and muscle tone gain, what has really awed and amazed me has been my interactions with people, and their "take" on the "new me". I have been encircled by positive people in the form of coaches and friends

I am not a beach girl. I do not enjoy sand, or heat, let alone the two together all day long every day for several days in a row. That being said, we just went to Florida. To "the beach", as they say in Georgia. Amelia Island, Florida. Beautiful place. Quiet, old town with lots of interesting history (pirates, Native Americans and the oldest working bar in Florida) and best of all, not a busy beach. I am not a beach girl, and if I have to go to the beach, I am surely not going to a busy beach. I like the enjoy the nature, the majesty, the beauty when I am at the beach. Not people. I can people watch everywhere else. Once, before kids, maybe even before we were married, my husband and I got up and went to the beach by the Cape Hatteras lighthouse at 6 am to see the sunrise. We were THE ONLY people on the beach. That is how I like it. Talk about feeling small. WOW. If I had the choice between the beach and say, an art show in Boston in January, I am pretty sure I would pick the

Well, I couldn't quit. I just couldn't. I wasn't ready to be done, and I really can't figure out what I will do next in terms of fitness, and I don't want to do nothing with as hard as I have worked to get where I am now. I have some Kathy Smith videos, really VHS tapes, and a working VCR, but I don't think that is going to work for me. Like I said before, I am not coordinated, and aerobics videos are just not my thing (not to mention that my kids watch me and mock me). Some 1985 video is just not a sustainable workout program for me at this point. I wish I was a runner, but I am not a runner. First of all, it is hot here. And second of all, I don't like to run, at all....not for long distances. I wish I did....it is cheap and accessible, but I am not self-motivated enough to be a runner. This I know. Starting out, my goal was simple. Get stronger. Be able to do push-ups. And May seemed far away, and all of a sudden it is May. A fellow bootcamper told me ab

The last day of the Boot Camp Weight loss challenge was today. I have to admit to happiness with my accomplishments (14.5 inches lost and 10 lbs lost), but a great deal of sadness, because despite hating to work out, I really like boot camp. If that makes any sense. I mean, if it were up to me, I would never work out, really. It doesn't make me feel so great that I can't live without it, and if there was a way to get around it, I would. But I can't, so I won't, I hope. And, like I have said before, I love chili cheese nachos, beer, and I really, really, really love pizza, like I could eat it every single day kind of love. I really could. YUM. I don't like vegetables, except celery. Not really. I eat them. I make myself. And, I tell my kids, I don't like this but I know it is good for me, and so I eat it. I hope that will make some impression on them that food is not just about taste, but about fuel, and about health. But, me a vegetarian, never. But back to boot

Motherhood. It is truly a gift. An exhausting, tiring, thankless gift. A gift that brightens my everyday. A gift that for many years I thought I wasn't interested in. And, one I am thankful that in the end that I was. One that I can call the best decision of my life. I love my kids. I hate to be away from them, even when they make me crazy. I have only spent a handful of nights away from them in their lives and I like it that way. I miss them while they are at school, or sleeping over at friend's house. My house doesn't seem right until they are here. My heart is glad when I see them in the school carpool line every day. They may come home and fight, but I am still thankful for every minute that I get to spend with them. Crazy, isn't it. Yet, I think I am not alone in these feelings. My love for them far outweighs and exceeds and sassy, crazy, crabby, mean spirited things they do. That is not to say they are bad kids, they aren't. While they can be all those things;

I have never been strong. As a kid I was always skinny. And, admittedly a picky eater -- I hated cheese of all kinds, condiments, especially mayo. If I had a nickel for every time my Grandma said to me, "You eat like a bird", well you know, I'd be rich. Imagine my glee when I learned in science one day that a bird eats twice it's weight each day! I could barely wait for the next family dinner, the inevitable comment, and my reply. I can still see it in my mind. My grandparents, great Aunt Betty, parents, sister.....all assembled and someone had to say it...."Beth, you eat like a bird". Oh, it was a glorious moment! In high school, I had to lift weights so that I could propel the ball from the serving line over the net in volleyball. In basketball, my coach made me use a weighed ball to do passing drills to help me build up muscle. I am not sure it ever worked. I remained thin -- skinny. I remember some boys in high school telling me my arms looked like a p